ID - And Clues to finding it
"Ma'm Can I have your ID please", the freckled teenager behind the checkout desk at the drugstore asked me. Since when do I look eighteen? fleetingly flattered, yet perplexed, that he called me Ma'm. Before asking for ID. Somehow, this kid didn't seem like the cynical ladies at the Macy's beauty and perfumes counter at the mall, cornering me to buy that expensive nighttime cream. "Do you need any help?", Liz asked, looking at me as she would a frumpy alien. All I wanted was to smell the roses in that perfume that promised me "Romance" and "Diamonds". "I'm not sure.." I blurted, Liz looked at me with "Gone Girl" eyes, before putting me in front of a magnifying mirror that highlighted that and all the other things that were alarmingly wrong with my face. She looked mortified and bewildered at my state of being and whispered to me surreptitiously, not ostensibly wanting to embarrass me, "You Need to take care of This", she said circling at my mirror mug shot. Take care of it I did; post 150 and no sympathy. Way to age-shame, but then whiffs of Romance and Diamonds must come at a price, I learned, the expensive way.
In moments of soliloquy, and when I know no one on the subway is listening, I try to have these existential ID arguments and pros and cons of such a debate. "I am brown and different", Vs. "I am a fly on the wall", yeah the extremes are kinda stark but so my thing. Sometimes, the arguments in solitude are also "Should I wait till it goes on sale", but we're not going there, 'coz it almost never works. Although this trickle down effect of my soul/ID search is exhausting, when really there is all these Black Friday deals tempting me like the SIRENS. Or maybe, those are just my ear ringing from all the sleep deprivation from an all-nighter with the laptop, 'coz Best Buy is killing it with all the items that I don't need but will still buy 'coz honestly Lenovo IDeadpad for 99.99 is a sleep killer deal, even if I don't need another laptop. LOL, like my purse's underbelly needs another layer of intrigue Now when I'm not mentally berating my frivolous self for spending 150 on age-shaming by an ageist, I open my self to possibility of listening to all that is my definition of ID vs others version of it. I'm surely not finding it by watching the funny cat videos for the umpteenth time. Every time I watch them though, I wonder why my cat wasn't half as entertaining. Maybe he's still learning the tricks, maybe he should watch those videos with me? I TRIED , people, my cat just wasn't into it. Like, I was never into Matt Damon- NOT. I am btw, still searching for the elusive ID, IN BETWEEN my Black Friday shopping, if /when/where its found I promise- will not be spent at all, in the pursuit of unreasonable expectations of clueless externals trying to define my ID. Also, if you are very unlike me and always know where your ID is at all times, make sure u hold on to it and your wallet/purses away from the prying eyes of people trying to sell you out to buy their commission.
I know I digressed, but state of mind and frame of reference to the same is crucial in this episode of ID finding.
So, I look at the contents in my hand that I am trying to buy at that witching hour, it was round 10, but I live in the 'burbs y'all. 8 PM is when the u hear owl's-mating calls, so 10 is when the wizards are out, unless u r like me, sickly, and prickly. I try to figure out if the Claritin I was trying to buy somehow warranted as a narcotic? Or had the sinus congestion rendered me insane. Have I crossed over to the dark side? And why are they selling it over the counter? The kid tells me, "It has a decongestant, is why, its a controlled substance", now I' m not a paranoid, but that scared me a bit,"Should I be driving on this?" I ask. the kid laughs, at that question but mostly at me, meanwhile he says,"Of course u can, directions are on the bottle", I try then to look for my wallet, in the underbellies of my purse, all the while trying to locate my ID. It was important to maintain eye contact while I wasted his time, and to all the fifty behind me in this checkout line, that I was working on something and not just loosing my marbles trying to find my ID.
My hand in the purse touched an earring, then some wipes, then Tylenol, then keys, more keys, loose change, mints, candy, water, gum, and something sticky, eww. and then finally my wallet, I took it out,triumphantly waving at the cashier. "Open another register", someone yelled from the back of the line. I paid, I retrieved my ID and wat was left of my dignity and left the store with the prized bottle of decongestant that I half emptied on my way to the car, all the while wondering why half the burbs had congregated at this hour to this particular CVS, 'til I saw the sign, "Free Flu shots for Seniors"
PS: for my shopaholics here's the link to the IDeaPAD(See I told ya this stuff 's for real!!l)
https://www.bestbuy.com/site/lenovo-ideapad-11-6-laptop-intel-celeron-2gb-memory-32gb-emmc-flash-memory-mineral-gray/6061800.p?skuId=6061800
In moments of soliloquy, and when I know no one on the subway is listening, I try to have these existential ID arguments and pros and cons of such a debate. "I am brown and different", Vs. "I am a fly on the wall", yeah the extremes are kinda stark but so my thing. Sometimes, the arguments in solitude are also "Should I wait till it goes on sale", but we're not going there, 'coz it almost never works. Although this trickle down effect of my soul/ID search is exhausting, when really there is all these Black Friday deals tempting me like the SIRENS. Or maybe, those are just my ear ringing from all the sleep deprivation from an all-nighter with the laptop, 'coz Best Buy is killing it with all the items that I don't need but will still buy 'coz honestly Lenovo IDeadpad for 99.99 is a sleep killer deal, even if I don't need another laptop. LOL, like my purse's underbelly needs another layer of intrigue Now when I'm not mentally berating my frivolous self for spending 150 on age-shaming by an ageist, I open my self to possibility of listening to all that is my definition of ID vs others version of it. I'm surely not finding it by watching the funny cat videos for the umpteenth time. Every time I watch them though, I wonder why my cat wasn't half as entertaining. Maybe he's still learning the tricks, maybe he should watch those videos with me? I TRIED , people, my cat just wasn't into it. Like, I was never into Matt Damon- NOT. I am btw, still searching for the elusive ID, IN BETWEEN my Black Friday shopping, if /when/where its found I promise- will not be spent at all, in the pursuit of unreasonable expectations of clueless externals trying to define my ID. Also, if you are very unlike me and always know where your ID is at all times, make sure u hold on to it and your wallet/purses away from the prying eyes of people trying to sell you out to buy their commission.
I know I digressed, but state of mind and frame of reference to the same is crucial in this episode of ID finding.
So, I look at the contents in my hand that I am trying to buy at that witching hour, it was round 10, but I live in the 'burbs y'all. 8 PM is when the u hear owl's-mating calls, so 10 is when the wizards are out, unless u r like me, sickly, and prickly. I try to figure out if the Claritin I was trying to buy somehow warranted as a narcotic? Or had the sinus congestion rendered me insane. Have I crossed over to the dark side? And why are they selling it over the counter? The kid tells me, "It has a decongestant, is why, its a controlled substance", now I' m not a paranoid, but that scared me a bit,"Should I be driving on this?" I ask. the kid laughs, at that question but mostly at me, meanwhile he says,"Of course u can, directions are on the bottle", I try then to look for my wallet, in the underbellies of my purse, all the while trying to locate my ID. It was important to maintain eye contact while I wasted his time, and to all the fifty behind me in this checkout line, that I was working on something and not just loosing my marbles trying to find my ID.
My hand in the purse touched an earring, then some wipes, then Tylenol, then keys, more keys, loose change, mints, candy, water, gum, and something sticky, eww. and then finally my wallet, I took it out,triumphantly waving at the cashier. "Open another register", someone yelled from the back of the line. I paid, I retrieved my ID and wat was left of my dignity and left the store with the prized bottle of decongestant that I half emptied on my way to the car, all the while wondering why half the burbs had congregated at this hour to this particular CVS, 'til I saw the sign, "Free Flu shots for Seniors"
PS: for my shopaholics here's the link to the IDeaPAD(See I told ya this stuff 's for real!!l)
https://www.bestbuy.com/site/lenovo-ideapad-11-6-laptop-intel-celeron-2gb-memory-32gb-emmc-flash-memory-mineral-gray/6061800.p?skuId=6061800
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